My Life,My Story,My Glory

sucks

2010-09-05T08:06:00.001-07:00

When u spend years and years of hardship,violence,constant abuse,confuse and spending years to find out who you are.And when you find that one true happiness.You though "oh this is it" cause you never really know what true happiness is cause it never happen before in you entire life of darkness and gloom.When you see the world darker than your eyes close even though its bright as a spotlight in front of your face.You met that special someone.Everything starts to clean up as though he garbage man comes to clear the rubbish.Everything starts to light up.Plants starts to grow.Colors comes.Butterflies and birds fluttering about.Everything seems "oh so right..." you though your dark days are over..the days where you could've been killed..you though "oh all this is over...life starts now"

Suddenly..all the building around you crumbles down..u realise the garbage that garbage man picked up was you..all those beautiful things you see were just stuff you see passing by while you were in the garbage truck..then there you were..at the rubbish dump..crows circling over,worms,maggots and rats all over..dark clouds hover over you.
you were back at where u started out..the garbage man you though will clear your life actually just came by to pick you up and throw you elsewhere...you're once again lost..hopes gone..light turned off..

what do you do now?what do you do?

2010-05-29T09:35:00.001-07:00

You Can Love The People That Hate You
But Don't Ever Hate The People The Loves You

WTF

2010-05-27T10:04:00.000-07:00

Its been like ages since i last blog..i just couldnt find the fucking time to do so..anyway..the past few months been freaking busy for me..assignments..longboarding..gf...and..well basically nothing else..apart from making local longboarding videos..

Anyway..a friend of mine recently got the lee kuan yew model student award..which is like..WOAH with a capital W.It then makes me think again..recently i got the academic performance award for being the top student..somehow it doesnt really excites me..i dont know..to most people its and honour but to me..its a burden..

I feel honoured getting it..but in a way..it will raise the expectation that my teachers,friends and family have in me.They will expect me to perform even better and better.What if i fail to do so?They will be deeply disappointed.i do want to do good..no..REALLY GOOD.im not gonna be like alot of other designs student whose dream are to go lasalle or nafa cause for me i believe these are the school that anyone with money can go to..what im aiming for is NYP or TP.But as an award winner..wouldnt the people doing the interview for entry to these polys expect a way higher standard from me?what if i dont?

i guess starting from now there's no room for error or failure.No room to lose focus.
i guess the time to sacrifice some things have come.It was my decision to get clean.I did it for me.This time its taking me somewhere...

well

2009-12-04T19:43:00.000-08:00

i havent been blogging for awhile now...but im gonna start blogging soon when im at cambodia which i will be goin on the 11th of dec till christmas...og well..cant hardly wait..yey...=.="

2009-11-15T02:30:00.000-08:00

I Love This Girl <3

2009-11-08T01:50:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was the first real mountain boarding experiance at Tampines Mountain Bike Park..And it was awesome..i finally get to feel what its like goin down a ramp made out of dirt on a board.I got myself all dirty and muddy and i had no choice but board the train to Eunos all muddy to go to leon's chalet..lucky nurul went to my house to get a fresh pair of jeans and underwear.lol.

YEY!!

2009-11-03T04:58:00.000-08:00

i've fucking finally got my mountain board which i've been longing for..n the 1st day i got it is the first time i got myself injured by it..lol..tried to do a board grab but slipped while up in the air n fell on my back..well..im looking for any mountain boarders in singapore..if there's any to go crazy with..i need xtrememinity!!!if there's such a word that is..lol

y?

2009-10-28T04:30:00.000-07:00

Why am i so angry?
why do i hate?
why to i get annoyed easily?
why does the very sight of some people irks me?
Why am i not afraid?

Some say this are the things that will actually bring me down..but since the day i was born..Its how i survive..how i manage to live till where i am now..

I still wonder how some people can be so ignorant to see how much one person hate them so much.How can one person not see the hate in they eye.The sharp piercing stare always thrown or the dont "bother to entertain" atittude being shown to them?

how can they still live?How far can someone shameless act go?how far does someone stupidity stretches?How can someone think so higly of themselve without shame even tho knowing they're not up to the standard they think they are?

How can someone like this still be alive?

Noise

2009-10-26T17:37:00.001-07:00

On Saturday i went to NOISE critique session with mr alex and some classmates.It was awesome to see other designers portfolio and hear what the panelist havta say about their portfolio.It gives me and idea what and how to do my portfolio.

Most of the designers portfolio were great but one comment always keep popping out by the panelist "your design look as tho like ive seen it been made by other people before"

It made me realise i have to have my own concept so my designs can stand out against the rest.Even though ive been doing very well in school i figured its not enough.I need a concept.My own creation.Something no one else have done.But what?so far my designs have been about anger and freedom.Does it somehow make other people look at it and know "oh..its nys work"

How do i as a designer make my work stand out?what is there that hasnt been done yet?
One example is mike shinoda..he's my inspiration.One look and i know "oh..its mike's"
How do i create something like that?Everytime i do something out of originality it somewhat feels as tho someone else has done it before.Or has it?No..im not gonna make some gory designs as thats like the most commmon thing ever.Or cutesy2 japanese style..cause thats like the trend this days.

What can i do to make it big in the industry?My GPA isnt going to help if my designs are nice but common..

I wanna create something no one has ever done.Like this quote ive seen somewhere before "Dont just follow the path.Walk where no one has ever walk and leave a trail"

Xtreme!

2009-10-19T07:24:00.001-07:00

Im getting bored..

ive tried almost every extreme sport there is to play in singapore.

im tried kick scooter,inline skates,skateboarding(broke a few bones with that)Mountain biking(broke my ankle and lost my bike at kota tinggi..and kota tinggi is fucking xtreme) and for now..long boarding...somhow its not xtreme enough for me..i nd sumthing more..sumthing i can atually get big air out of...sumthing i that can atually make me go back wanting more..sumthing so crazy that i want more..what can i get?(no..nuthing with engines pls)

well..ive yet to get my mountain board..which i shld get pretty soon as the person selling it to me hasnt brought it down to his shop to show me the board yet..but $300..its worth it..rather then ordering it online which cost $700 including shipping.

but but..my dream sport..snowboarding..before i ever die..thats probably the sport i havta try no matter what..going down the mountain at full speed with nuthing but nature being my enemy..how fucking extreme is that?

Freedom

2009-10-18T01:27:00.001-07:00

What is true freedom?
Being able to choose your leader?
Going public about your unhappiness of the system?
Going wherever you want?
Doing whatever you want?
Believing in whatever you want?
A world without religion and culture?
A world without passports,ids,history of your life in a computer somewhere and government?
A world without judgement?
A world without good nor bad?

Sin

2009-10-18T01:09:00.000-07:00

Birth was my first sin, be here,
to cry, with my scream silence tear...

Life was my second sin, just live,
mock this world, my opinions give...

Love was my third sin, to care,
just worship her, how did I dare...

Questioning was my fourth sin, raise doubt,
my mind use, see no reasons when look out...

Rebellion was my fifth sin, my own rules make,
refuse to obey, not orders from others to take...

Arrogance is my sixth sin, to my own sins list,
to think I know, believe my own sins see in life's mist...

I will still have many sins, my own pride I will fall,
I will regret most, hope redemption before death call...

Death will be my last sin, to surrender and die,
just release my life, to darkness and oblivion fly...

Human spirit

2009-10-12T07:08:00.000-07:00

I havent been blogging for a few days now.I dont actually feel like it until i watch
Human Spirit:World Smallest Girl on okto..Actually im watching this while blogging.

Its actually about a 16 year old girl from India name Jyoti who is the smallest girl on earth.Standing barely at knee level.I know it doesnt sound amazing as there are alot of midgets in the world and this girl just being the smallest of them all.She actually suffers from primordial dwarfism.Primordial dwarfism is a rare form of dwarfism that results in a smaller body size in all stages of life beginning from before birth therefore making her actually look as tho she is only 3 or 4 years old.

What attracts my attention about this girl is that even though she's the smallest in the world she have courage bigger then most of us have.She still got to school and even expected to be treated as any other teenager.Even though she cant play like any other normal kids Cause her bones are to fragile.Once during a holiday in Kashmir,she slipped on ice and broke her legs which still have not heal till now as her bones doesnt have enough calcium to do so.

Her dream,to do films..she wants to be an actress.She wants to make it big in Bollywood and she has already had a share of fame in a famous hindi singer music video.Her family supports her dreams.

Though her small size..she dares to dream big..dares to live everyday as though nothing is wrong with her.It angers me that normal people like you and me do nothing but complaint how fuck up life is.How you are angry at your parents,the world,money or whatever bullshit whereas this girl who can break her bones just by tripping over a stick doesnt worry about it but just hope her legs will get better so she can pursue her dreams.

Maybe once in awhile we should stop complaining and actually see life differently..this is one of the reason i signed up for the cambodia community service..until i see hardship with my own eyes i'll probably wont learn to appreciate the lfe i have now.Maybe all of us should have a lil bit of compassion for people like Jyoti and stop being selfish.

There's one quote from Jyoti's father that actually make me stop blogging and think about it and realise how brave she is and how cowardly we are.

"Despite being different from the rest of the world,she doesnt see herself small"

Think about it.I may not really have a good heart.Yes i've sinned.I've hate.I've done bad things.But i still have compassion for other humans who is less fortunate than i am..

Urine and defecation upon..

2009-10-05T21:17:00.000-07:00

Fuck all orthodox black metal rubbish,pollutant and talentless hobby bands.New age warmetal scum.Slaves and sheep of universal gods.Bastards and insignificant worms of envious gossip.Old and new polynesian ladyboy rockstar who helplessly try hard to shine.Lazy and uneducated internet vermin big and small.All other weak and non-extreme musical bullshit that ride under the name of metal.

Enemies remember: you forever remain rotting pariahs underneath my feet as i triumphantly crush,conquer and dominate time and time again.

FUCK YOU ETERNALLY!!!!

...

2009-10-05T07:34:00.000-07:00

NOT MY PROBLEM

Sepandai-pandai tupai melompan akhirnye jatuh ke tanah.
lost for words?this past few weeks ive seen how fast people change and begin realising things.I guess thats human nature.something we cannot change but can control.No matter how fuck up things are there's always a way out if u realise whats good for you and whats not.do shit and things will just come back to you.what goes around comes around

KL TRIP!!!

2009-10-05T06:18:00.000-07:00

Ok...KL was way fun...

ok..we departed frm skool straight to tuas checkpoint..the computer was down so they havta scan our passport manually..den it was a long bus ride to negeri sembilan..kampong pelegong...where we were greeted by tis guy..i forgot his name..then took a van and some took cars to go deeper into the kampong as the bus was to big to go in.our 1st night in m'sia..we havta stay we a foster parent..me don and saddam stayed with tis two 70plus yr old couple who was very good..and cook well too...we learn to play their local music instruments n dance..it was effing fun..

den 2nd night...hotel!!!wohhoooo!!b4 that...we went to the twin towers n stuff for picture taking...

3rd night was better..shopping!!!!n like everyone came to our room to chill..was awesome but tiring...
4th night..was better..more shopping!!haha..ok ok..i got not much to blog about tis trip..cause too god damn lazy to type so long..i bloody hell can make a book about it...

enjoy tiz blog or not.."not my problem"<---joke frm kl hotel room..lol

and oso..KL was a very good memory cause that is where i found out i got a GPA of 4....proud moment..finally i achieve sumthing useful in my life

Finally!!

2009-10-05T03:32:00.000-07:00

Internet back on..dumb singtel...ok..Finally im gonna do a very long post after this post..gonna blog about the KL trip..its was fun..shopping...foooddd and shopping!!!

ANd i hate to say it...but i was right!!!hehehehe!!

and to those who i still owe pics from the KL trip..get it from me on msn or wait till school reopen then i give..u siow ah i wanna tag u all one by one on facebook..got over 2gb of pics leh...

ok ok...i will soon blog about the KL trip with pics ok...for now..i got better things to do

hee

2009-09-15T02:16:00.000-07:00

Ive officially moved to tiong bahru for the time being..which is nt as bad..zouk's opp of my house..i can walk to clarke quay which will only take 15 mins at max.im moving back to gombak during the 2nd week of raya tho..staying at my grandma's as she nt in singapore..goin to egypt to further her studies for a month..so im staying a gombak for 1 month...den moving back to tiong bahru and den to gombak again in dec.that is when i get my real house..n dammit i cant wait to move to gombak..TB good n all but too far away frm my friends and skool..

Fuck it

2009-09-14T04:55:00.000-07:00

Out With The Scene...In With The Underground!

Yes.I Still bully faggot scene kids with their stupid hairdo and girlish looks..hack.i even bully the girls.Fuckin bunch of posers just piss me off still...no.bullets for my valentine or my chemical romance is not metal...its fag music.So stay out of sight cause im coming to get you again you fucking cunts.Remember X-core?heeee..that was really really fun..!oh yea..not to mention rudeboys..neh..i just hate their ass...lol

pheww!

2009-09-11T20:12:00.000-07:00

well..its 11am now..im not sleepy animore even though i slept at 4am cause i was out all night karaoke at cuppage with real friends..its been a fucking while.i cant wait for fasting month to be over cause i need fucking beers now..im still wondering why i cant continue sleeping..i got home at 3plus am..slept at 4 plus..but wake up at 10am...=.="..dammit..

anyway..last night was a blast..finally..real entertainment..lol.
im sick of hearing kids ranting about how pathetic thier lives are or how they are crying in the dead of night of going on about their non-existence relationship or whatever other bullshit they can think about to make others feel sorry for them even though i dont cause

1.It not my fucking problem.
2.I just find you pathetic and weak
3.its still not my fucking problem

so to finally be out with real adults..its better!way better.i've enough of childish bullshit which i fucking hadnt encounter since i was like what..15?im 21 for godfuckinsake..why should i even bother with all this bulllocks..guess i dont have to..oh well..this is where shitty attitude kicks in :)

I'm Just very very very angry at the world and the people in it :)

well

2009-09-10T09:32:00.000-07:00

It kind of absurb how people moan and cry and watever to being depress about bullshit where there are other people of there having a worst time of their lives but still stay strong and look at the brightside of life.Me for instance(nt really a good example tho)..my family last min havta get out of the house cause the bastard that bought my house suddenly wanna move in next week when he was suppose to move in dec.so we kinda have no place to stay and have no choice but to rent a 2 room flat in tiong bahru for the time being while looking for a new house.which is kinda like not having a proper home but im thankful enough i hav a roof over my head but to think i'll be celebrating hari raya in this pathetic state isnt fun at all.I mean..a small flat full of boxes and furnitures isnt really the type of hari raya i'd imagine..i guess this cunts dont really know the meaning of "hidup susah"..and i didnt realise i got alot of cds and mech till i started packing em yesterday..dammit..some i dont even rmbr where i got em from..lol..can sell em off to make tons of cash for myself..but neh..

but fuck it..i'm still wondering whether i should sell my guitar and get a new one cause its about time i get a new one.or should i ditch the idea and get the mountain board instead?watever it is..im getting both sooner of later..i want a mountain board but music is one of the most important things in my life.i'll simply go depress if i dont get to shred...

anyway..i dont really know what to blog about.so fuck yeah...fuck off now cunts..and stop the bullocks..

The Casualties-Two Faced

2009-09-08T12:59:00.000-07:00

All you hypocrites out there always
Telling fucking lies
Always Talking behind my back
Every fucking chance you get
Two Faced - I know your name
Two Faced - I know your game
Two Faced - I know your kind
Two Faced - You're Full of Shit
You're a two faced cunt

So you're coming once again
Telling lies to all my friends
Always telling bullshit lies
Every fucking chance you get

So you do it one more time
Spreading rumors and spreading lies
Always telling bullshit lies
Every fucking chance you can.

Unknown Soldier

2009-09-08T12:15:00.000-07:00

There Was Never A Fight In The First Place.It Was Just Me Minding My Own Business.

Ok.This entry is NOT IN ANYWAY INDIRECTLY REFERING TO ANYONE but just something i notice on quite a few blogs after some time of blogging.Even on my gf's blog..i love you tau..hee...tkmo marah hahhhhh!!!

People tend to use their blog to vent their anger or sadness about someone on their blog which i find stupid and dumb.But maybe to some people its the best way to let known their feelings to someone.i dont discriminate anyone doing so cause i do that sometimes too..i think lah...either way from what i feel blogging about it doesnt really show your sincerity about whatever you're talking about..unless u're angry..i dont tink you have to be sincerly angry right?maybe thankful,apologies,love or watever lah.

the best approach is always face to face from the way i see it.if you're scared..you should just pluck up the courage to go up to that someone and say wad u feel cause the outcome will be better then blogging about it and it really will show your sincerity.You got both then..action and words.Action speaks louder then words..but if you got both..it'll be fucking powerful wouldnt it?think about it..cause for me..i only accept face to face shit..either then that..its all bullshit to me..

besides that..i am freakin hungry for fuck sake..

Farewell!!

2009-09-04T21:26:00.000-07:00

On Your Mark

Ready..

Go!!!!

Woah!!!

WhoOoHoOoHoHoHO!!

Wheeeee!!

zoooooom!!

Well friday's farewell gathering for samantha was not bad..was kinda fun..!
we were suppose to mit at 10.30am but everyone havent wake up so change to 12.30.
i met wif khai and razaaq at bb mrt and den mit up wif aixin and samantha at clementi and head straight to ECP where we had our lunch.K shut up..mmg tk puasa.lol.

we then proceed to the rental place where aixin and samantha rent bikes.khai brought his kickscooter,razaaq skateboard and me mini-longboard.We decided to go to bedok jetty but stop by at the new skatepark as i wanna try it out.and dammit the bowl was pretty damn scary but i went it and give it a try but still nd more time to get use to it and more practice and watching videos as i dont really know how to play in a bowl.den we proceed to bedok jetty where afiq came and we just sit around and tell jokes.we then head back to the skatepark where i play in the other bowl.afiq,khai and razaaq give it a try to.then we head back to the rental place to meet up with aixin and samantha as they went there 1st to return the bikes.we den went to burger king for dinner and head on home.

it was a fun and tiring day.it dammit it feels really good to be skating again.its been awhile since i tried it.i dont care..im goin back there soon to master the bloody bowl

Spill The Dirty Blood Of Jesus!

2009-09-01T20:05:00.000-07:00

Proud and hateful - iron youths, harvesters of death
Seeders of detestation, abhorers of wretchedness
We are the plague decimating the floods of god
We are the spear in the nazarene bastard's ribs

Agitators of abomination, inquisitors of hate
Rapacious percestors of Satan, atistocrats of nature's creation
We're crown of thorns on the head of the jewish king
We are the nails in your redeemer's limbs

Spill the dirty blood of jesus!
Execute the pig in one thousand ways
Spill the dirty blood of jesus!
Crucify.. stone, decapitate!

Behold the holy disciples
Fucking lambs masturbating
Upon the corpse of the jewish whore
Thoking with holy excrements

We are the blade to cut his throat
Destroy his cult! Execute the trinity!
Crucified messiah, thy kingdom fall!
We'll burn the place where he was born
Deny him, mortify him, spit in his face!
Deny him, crucify him, erase his fucking race!

DIE! DIE! DIE SON OF GOD!

Abuse you christian fuckers
I'll piss upon your graves
You'r idol's dead and rotting
His temples shall end in flames

The Gods Made Heavy Metal

2009-09-01T19:46:00.001-07:00

Being a metalhead for almost my entire life i know there will be insults thrown at me like.."metalhead?grow up ah.."..takde life sia metal".."what future do you have with metal" and "what are you fighting for?"

Let me fight for my music.My life.Being a metalhead..i see the world differently from others.A world which most people out there dont realise what they are getting themselve into.A world we are fighting against every single minute.Being a metalhead doesnt mean you're immatured.ok..i admit we are sometimes "immatured" but among ourselves cause we fucking know when and how to have fun.From my point of view,True metalheads are the most matured and reality accepting people around there is.We dont engage in violence(unless needed) or stupid comments or threats when trouble arouse.

For having a life..Metal is our life.Some of our life revolves around metal and for your info..Most metalheads are working hard and some are studying hard for a better future and metal is what keeps us going.It gives us a strong boost of confidence..gives us the power to fight on..gives us the courage and take everything that is being thrown to our faces.Even though some of us may look haggard or rebellious with the long hair or piercings or tattoos or whatever.Most of us have a heart so pure that most of you dont have.

What are we fighting for you ask..well its up to the individual isnt it?For me..i'm always fighting for what is true..what is right and personal freedom cause i know..true freedom can never be obtain(we cant even fucking smoke at life lobbies..what makes u think we can obtain true complete freedom?)

Does that answer all your question?You can ask more and i can go for days.I'm still around today because of metal.It is my fucking life and forever it will be.You wake up everyday and take a bath or brush your teeth or read the papers and drink tea or coffee.But i wake up everyday and listen to iron maiden..infernal war..slayer..helloween etc to start out my day and it gives me the sense of confidence that i can always fight against everything the world try to throw in my face every single day.

"If metal doesn't give you that overwhelming surge of power, make your hair stand up at the back of your neck, you might never get it. And you know what? That's okay. Because judging by the 40,000 metalheads around me, we're doing just fine without you"

<3

2009-09-01T05:25:00.000-07:00

Happy 9 months together baby!
010909<3

We've been together for 9 months
we've been through hell and back again
but we still stand strong and pull through everything together.
all the shit we've been through..all the sacrifices you've made for me..
yeah..i know i can be a jackass sometimes but i'll always love you no matter what
and all of the things you've done for me will always be remembered..
i love you like no one do and nothing can ever change that..

jesus fucking christ

2009-08-29T22:08:00.001-07:00

Like i say..if u dont understand the music..why bother coming?thats why i nvr came down to baybeats before..and the only good thing about baybeats this year is meza virs.

meet up with nurul at bb then man at jurong east..we headed to city hall to go hell lybrinth as man wanted to get a shirt.he ended up buying a necroholocaust cd and shirt.after that mit up with dale at the mrt and nurul went off to geylang to mit her frends.we went to watch suicide solution.they were great and drugs and kisses were particularly my fav.the crowds where boring as they chinese glam rock trendies wear all hardcore but just sit down as tho they are watching eric clapton or fucking air supply or sumthing.me and dale were the only ones really singing and stuff =.="
dress with attitude but no attitude?fucking faggots.probably still mama's boy.den went off to marina square for dinner.mit up with qhai and azura.while me and man got screen by plain clothes policemen.we were drag to a corner and screen and stuff.faggots..oh well..then head down to esplanade again for meza virs

it wasnt a waste of time coming down..meet alot of old friends..and i mean really alot!it was like the old days where almost out of the whole of esplanade..40% are frends...it was really a good reunion...

well waited for meza virs..while waiting..azura was eating at the side =.=" pfft..havta wait for her..then as meza virs start their entry..run all the way upfront into the mosh pit..well..its been awhile..was headbanging and singing and screaming to their songs and stuff.then..i decided to body surf..couldnt climb onto the railings and jump off as the security guard was standing right infront of me and he will probably push me off before im able to climb up.so with the help of man,qhai and some frends..they throw me up and its was great until some faggots who fucking let me drop to the ground.my back hit the side railins which fucking hurt alot..thanks a fucking much u faggots...nxt time..if u dont plan to have fun..dont fucking stand infront in a metal gig u faggots..go right to the back where u will be "safe".

anyway..was flat on the ground after meze virs..with an aching back and sore neck from the constant headbanging.but fuck..who cares...the important thing is that i had fun.thats what its all about anyway..we went home at about 11.30.and boy was i fucking dying..

Black Fucking Metal

2009-08-28T21:30:00.000-07:00

Today meza virs is performing at baybeats.For the 1st time ever a metal band is actually allowed to perform at baybeats.And its getting everybody super hype.Old friends are coming down.Tonight is probably the night i get to feel what its like years ago.ahh..the good old days.the reigning chaos.

meza virs performing at baybeats is probably a big jump for local metal industry here.probably metal bands will get more exposure here as we are part of the "local music scene".Maybe for once local media should start paying attention to metal bands too instead of typical alternative bands or whatever fuck as metal bands has much more potential then this faggots.look at rudra and impeity.rudra has build a strong fan base in the US and impeity have been hail as the most successful band the has ever came out of singapore.The are known world wide already btw and are legends.Hail impeity!skull fucking is the best album ever.

anyway..yes this metal bands are not known commercially but have a huge fan base underground.more than any commercialized bands that have come out from singapore.hell..they have probably a larger fan base then taufik batisah or hady mirza.And the fans have been giving strong supports for years and years thus allowing them to produce alot of album.how long has impeity been ard??18?19 years?long aint it?

so tonight..probably will change the way the media look at metal bands.we're not jus long haired scary looking people screamin and shreding.we are also very very very very very talented musicians.

hmm

2009-08-27T02:30:00.000-07:00

i got the most random question i've ever been ask before in my entire life and i wonder if anyone has been making up shit about me.cause if they do..they better start to stop cause when i find out there's gonna be big big big big trouble

there u go

2009-08-27T02:10:00.000-07:00

well..this is a drawing of nurul i made..its nt exactly up to standard as im bad at drawing human features..this work was also done in a rush cause got other assignments to do..well..there u go baby..u been pestering me about it kan..nah..amek kau!!hope you love it

stupidity

2009-08-26T04:46:00.001-07:00

been paying much attention to my surrouding lately.Its amazing how people actually cover up their bullshit but they didnt know someone else actually know about it.they dont know someone is actually one step ahead of them in this game.

watch it

2009-08-24T20:27:00.001-07:00

Friends advice me to just let things go
cause there's no point wasting my breathe on this hoe
they're just kids wad more can they do
i can do more i'll probably shit on you!

Well..Bitches they come they go
Maybe they'll one day grow
till then i'll just havta let them know
never mess with me cause i'm the type of shit
who never sleep till you're no more

Like calvin say they'll get their retribution
which will probably come in a form of execution
i'll fucking chop u up in front of an audience
i'll use ur titties as a fucking cushion
wait..i cant..they havent evolve yet..
they're to small to even be any good for nothing
now what the fuck am i suppose to do with it?
oh well lets see the expression of your mom when i mail her ur tit.

im startin dissin again..
cause from the way i see it..
you fucking much deserve shit..
i just wanna be left alone just as much as you been wantin..
you shouldnt cross certain line but you jus cross it..
you just started some nys shit..
so fuck everyone i'll just let you have it..
i'll be doing things my way..
and no one will get in my way..
so fuck you and have a nice day!

The Glorious Days

2009-08-23T22:21:00.001-07:00

I still remember those glory where no one dare to get in our way.it all seem like yesterday.

I'll fucking give anything to go back during those good times where it was all about booze and gigs and no fucking worries.no worries about kids making up stories about you or talking shit about you.Got problem?get violent.easy as that.man those days were fun.no where have everyone gone to?Even though most of you that seen me now think i've change..think again motherfuckers..i will never change..my uniform is just hanging there waiting for the right time to come out.

.....

2009-08-23T14:05:00.000-07:00

dude...that is one ugly face!

anyway..just had my sahur..
i had the weirdest dream so far...i dreamt i was goku and was arguig with freeza cause he wouldnt merge with me to beat gohan..and we end up watchin dragon ball VCDs =.="

Ok fuck off

Doe Rae Me

2009-08-23T04:12:00.000-07:00

OK!!!I AM OFFICIALLY PISSED AGAIN!PUKIMAK KORG LAH SIAL!K THATS IT.IT FUCKING DISSIN' TIME!I'MMA TAKE YOU FUCKING POSERS DOWN.FUCKING HYPOCRITICAL BASTARDS.YOU JUST FUCK INHERITED MY BEEF.FUCK YOU BITCH!FUCK YOU CUNT!AND FUCK YOU BITCH ASS LESBIAN CUNT!!

START PUTTING DOWN NAMES BITCH ASS CUNT!!!
YOU'VE BEEN FUCKING FOUND.
GET YOUR FUCKING FACT STRAIGHT BEFORE YOU GO DISSIN AROUND.
AHH FUCK YOU YOU'RE FUCKINNG GOING DOWN

WATCH ME, CAUSE YOU THINKIN YOU GOT ME IN THIS HOT SEAT
YOU MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA JUDGE ME CAUSE YOU'RE NOT ME
YOU'LL NEVER STOP ME,I'M TOP SPEED AS YOU POP ME!

2009-08-22T23:47:00.000-07:00

1st day of puasa not too bad...stayed home the whole day..and was online the whole day..dammit havent fucking done that in years tho..so i was online..nadiah and nurul didnt puasa cause they "cant".LOL.So..i did a survey..7 people i know didnt fast cause apparantly they decided to suddenly have their period of the 1st day of puasa.lol

i suddenly had craving for sardine'o at Old Chang Kee.So after buka i head down to cine to meet leon and the rest but i get off at orchard instead to go to the old chang kee.i bought myself two sardine'o and finish it before i even reach cine.god it was nice.

did some window shop..play arcade and went home..nuthing much..just the usual stuff.

oh..while i was in the train to town.this two "step high class" malay girls who are still kids..prolly only 16-17 maybe.was talking about how crappy puasa is.one of em even say why was she born a malay and blah blah blah.so me being me.said "excuse me.sorry for interupting.If you are not proud to be a malay..you should jus stop talking in malay and sms(which i saw she typing "kau patne siak?") in malay.but before you do that and start speaking english fulltime.you also prolly nd to correct your fucking grammer 1st.and btw..this fashion is like so low class lah....(i was refering to her dress cause can see the tag and the collar say "this fashion" lol...oh oh!!the best part..after the last line..to door opened at raffles place..and i just coolly walked out.lol!!

this are the kind of people that would put us malay lower down the list of prolly end our very existence.what we need are real malay that would fight for their heritage.we're are the 1st people in this country.its our land.dont let them take it away from us.lets take it back.

Selling!!

2009-08-22T21:46:00.000-07:00

i got some cd to sell.some are really rare so it explain the prices.

Inaeternum-dawn of a new era $30
-Curse of devastation $30

Natterfrost-Terrorist $15

Gehenna-Admirion Black $40
-The 2nd Spell $40

Kult ov Azazel-Triumph Of Fire $15

Occiden-Glorification of the anti-christ $15

Infernum-The curse $20

Armegadda-one spritism $15

secrets of the moon-Anti-thesis $15

Ayat-$20(Rare Demo Album Of Lebanon Brutal Black Metal Band!)

2009-08-20T02:26:00.000-07:00

ok so..Kuala Lumpur culture exchange tingy from 28th sep to 2 oct is on..i cant wait for that..it feel good to be choosen to go..but then when i come back..probably the training for cambodia trip is going to start..

i'm proud of myself for getting a chance to go..maybe once in my life i should do something good for the world..the 2nd thing that make me really proud of myself is that only me and the other 2nd year guy got choosen to represent ITE AMK..

i wish some of my classmate could go..but i guess ite is going broke already =.="
atleast if my classmates go i atleast have people im comfortable working with..20 of us are going..and i dont even know any of them..gosh..

its gonna be a 15 days and 14 night trip.community service that is.we'll be travelling all over cambodia spreading love..lol..k..diam ah..atleast im doing something good..

i cant wait for it but i know its not gonna be easy down there too..its probably one of the hardest situation i'll ever be in..but its all for a good cause....and NYAA silver award...lol

2009-08-18T19:33:00.000-07:00

EPL is back...time for endless nights of screaming and basi face at school.Scream for the best football on the planet.Glory Glory Man Utd!

2009-08-17T05:13:00.000-07:00

i ask myself...am i happy with this life im leading..the life which is probably a lie on its own..something that makes me nt me..somehow..i cant answer that..im happy..but am i happy with myself..with all the secrets hidden all around..all the things i need to know but dont have the chance to know or not allowed to..things kept hidden from me..things i should know..

maybe i dont belong where i am now..maybe where i belong is where all my frends are..the working class..out in the world..really living my life..maybe its the life i been leading all this year that is best suited for me..

i guess the answer will be reveal in a matter of time

here are some things about me you people should get into the thick head of yours

i have a vbery big ego..i'm proud..i stand firm with my believes and way of life.i think way differently from any of u.i hate easily.if i hate someone or dislike em..just a slightest sound or look from them annoys the fuck out of me.i forget but never forgive.i get irritated easily..restless easily..i like things to be done my way.i wanna be the best in everything i do.i like to see the people i hate suffer.

yes..im a bad person..my good points?you fucking judge..for everything else..i couldnt careless nor give a fuck about..especially about you..all i care is myself and my life and nohting more..so hate me now cunt?

2009-08-14T08:24:00.001-07:00

I somehow havent been myself lately...i pick up the guitar but just cant feel..I blast out infernal war but just cant get the anger out..no more jumping ard my room haedbanging and going crazy...maybe i just too much on my mind but it never come to a point where metal never makes me feel better..what the hell is going on?

Maybe i really need to get crazy in a mosh pit or just headbanged with my mates till my neck hurts for days and days.But there never seem to be any good gigs to go to this days.Maybe being busy with school and the everyday problems i face is finally getting to me.

Im unhappy with myself maybe cause maybe im not living to my expectations..my rules my way of life.dammit i miss those days where i couldnt care less bout anything..guess this is just part of adulthood.Wonder whats gonna happen next..

2009-08-13T05:54:00.000-07:00

This Is God Damn Fucking Pathetic!!!!!!!!!!

2009-08-13T03:41:00.000-07:00

Its been a few days since i've plug in my guitar..kinda not in the mood this few days..got lotsa on my mind lately..some not even worth thinking aboout and just yesterday..the death of my 2nd hamster..its a huge blow for us..for the 1st time..zuko,minnie and jerry were sitting together with me while bobo was dying on my lap..we saw him open his mouth..took his last breath and close his eyes..it guess it was just his time to go..minnie gave a loud meow and everything just went silent for a few minutes.I've never grown so attached to a hamster this much before and never before i've seen any animal take its last breath like that..rest in peace buddy..we will all miss you.

Anyway..got lotsa assignment to be done now..and shit im fucking stress..but hey..school isnt school without a lil stress right?so far so good anyway..Cant wait for the KL trip...And cambodia..its only gonna take two years of school...how hard can it be..i've been through harder..

im still wondering what the fuck i should do next...

2009-08-13T02:18:00.000-07:00

Piss.Angry.Hateful.Proud.stubborn.Neverbackdown.Careless.Paranoid.payscloseattention.Straightuptothefacefuckingmetal.Direct.Rude.Vice.vengeful.Violent.Rebellious.sadistic.pisstothefuckingcorehighasfuck.Hardfuckingcore.unsatisfied.

2009-08-12T05:23:00.000-07:00

You know...its better to say something right in the fucking faces then talking behind their backs.And i am ihsan nysrock.I never forgive nor forget.And i will never stop until i'm fucking bored of doing the same shit or until i'm fucking satisfied.Her very fucking existence annoys the shit out of me so what do you think the sight of her makes me feel?A fucking down right parasite like her shouldnt even exist.Between me and her?yes..it became everyones problem when she talked about the rest of us.The walls have ears.To make matter worst.Dude..she can even talk shit about me when i'm sitting beside her.Fucking caught her red-handed.And so the story continue..Yes.I dare do it right infront of anyone anywhere.Fight fire with fire.The only difference is..my fire is hotter.And im born to rebel.Which basically what i've been doing my whole fucking life.so what do you think?i'm an asshole?thank you :)

She fucking mess with the wrong guy.i'm not as harmless as i look.Looks can be deceiving.And if you have things to say that you're not happy about.i'm always open to a face to face conversation.well..no guts no glory.The only reason i havent been confronting her is cause i wouldnt want to hit a girl nor embarrass her infront of everyone..see...i still have a little bit of nice-ness in me
:)

PS:I thought you could be trusted.

2009-08-12T05:10:00.000-07:00

Rest In Peace My Two Adorable Hamsters.I Love You Guys Alot.

1 year and 8 months old

The two of you may not look much to other people but you two have bring in so much joy in my life.Just standing by your tank and watching you coming up to me and giving me that cute faces begging for food never fail to cheer me up.And you guys are probably the most "jinak" hamsters i've ever met.I can just place my hand in and you two would start to climb into my palms and look up at me hoping i would let you run around my room.You guys also never fail to make anyone who meets you fall in love with you.Like i did when i got you in the pet shop and sitting outside the mrt station playing with you guys for the 1st time.I Love You.Rest In Peace my Sayangs.<3

I love you guys so much.Things would be much different now that both you guys are gone.

2009-08-10T11:22:00.000-07:00

ive been doing some thinking lately..are somethings really meant to be done?are some thing really meant to be fight for?for instance..are some people really meant to be cared for or even be shown any fucking remorse..ive been told alot of times to let go but it always never seem possible and the shit never seem to end..if i pursue it..it willl only get worst but in the end..im always smilling.

im i born like this or its just the part of the things that i cant never live without.what do i need to do to actually appease myself?will i be happy when i get things done my way?or will i feel bad about it when i actually do it or will satisfaction finally get the best of me..?well..it will soon be answered..

2009-08-08T08:44:00.000-07:00

I've always been living off this quote "Do Unto Others What Others Do Unto You"

So..prepare for my fucking wrath cunt!Seig!!!

2009-08-08T08:30:00.000-07:00

today i slept till lyke 1.30pm..got ready and wen out to meet nurul..was she beautiful today..ok..everyday..tidak nanti org tu ckp.."today jur?"..lol..so we went to bras basah cause i needed to print my assignment and boy does it look good..then wen to have my fishball noodle..we wanted to watch G.I.Joe but then change our mind and walk around town instead..which we soon after meet leon and the rest..pretty much nothing to do today really..we had fun over at tangs playing with the sunglasses..we didnt actually realise we were playing with 500 bucks glasses..lol..

gosh i really got nothing to blog about..peace mofos

2009-08-07T23:18:00.000-07:00

Well..Im very well am pissed.im over the edge now..this shit has been gettin on my fucking nerves..

1st thing 1st..i've always wanna get this off my chest..so..here i go.what do you do if someone you have been doting or nice to suddenly stab you in the back?1st thing the cunt use to talk shit about you..and everyone else...what makes you think she wont to that to you?i donnu how you can trust her..for all you now..she's talking shit about you to her friends now..if she hav any that is..why do you think she never really have real friends before?and why the hell do you get mad when we are pissed at her when she started everything?why do you defend her when we talk shit but dont defend us when she talked shit about us?some friend you are..to think i use to trust you and dote on you alot.

and you..the other one..im not a kid you can just kid around..for heaven sake..what you're doing..well.been there done that cunt..i'm not the type of person you should be sarcastic to and i know you've been talking more shit about me..and yea..i dont think you deserve to go for the KL trip..and jyeah..i'm way better then you are..dude..im a fucking A student for fuck sake..so..stop bragging on hw good you're getting at cause its not gonna last..:) hack...i dont think you should be even treated like a fucking human being you pimple chested freak

i'm fucking mean arent i to everyone thats reading this shit?yes im evil...lol..well..piss me of i'ma spit at your fucking face..so stay the fuck away frm me..run when you see me..be alert when your around me..fear me bitch....

go ahead..blog about this..you know its just gonna make me say worst shit about you.And you know i'll freaking win..remember..im the comeback king..no..im not being childish...im just piss...very..

2009-08-03T16:43:00.000-07:00

So we were told to bring jacket for this...lol..k..semua takde keje..atleast fun lah..panas2 pakai jacket cam giler gitu ehk..anyway..left 4 dead finally!!!

today was ok except for my design class..i keep stressing over my design cause i dont tink its good enuff cause know i can do much better then this even though miss jean keep saying its nice and oso some of my classmates..but i know i can do way better

2009-08-03T01:15:00.000-07:00

I've enough of your bullshit

2009-08-01T21:15:00.000-07:00

Because of a friend a decided to let part of the matter rest

I'm Not Trying To Be Different...I Am Different
Show No Fucking Mercy.No Fucking Remorse

2009-08-01T21:00:00.001-07:00

I miss my daily dosage of alcohol....
and harry potter not that bad what....
and kanasai...where my guitar pick go....
and what the hell am i eating now?

2009-08-01T20:09:00.000-07:00

When i was only 2 years old..i was left to die by my own dad..and if it wasnt for my grandma..i probably wouldnt be here today.She picked me up and run down the stairs with my aunt and just hail any car passing by to help send us to the hospital.

Then..i was a victim..a victim of vicious violence.Everyday i went through violence and hatred and anger.i see my parents hitting on each other..and quite often i'm a victim too..sometimes me being a victim as the same as watching a mick foley vs triple H hardcore match in the wwe.

As i get older..the beatings stop..i force my way out to the undergrd world where violence was everyting..you're on your own..no one around to help you as your own friends are backstabbing each other.Then get you into trouble..cops chases you everywhere..peoplehunt for you..

the talking stop..its time to grow up..NS came along..everything change..it was better..no trouble..just extras..lol..i think about going to school again after that..and i did..

When i got into school and figured i wouldnt make any friends..and it really doesnt bother me at all..but then i did..and they were especially great friends..esp one of em..then things started to change..people started talking..i became a victim just cause the person thought i talk shit about her when everytime i only say.."its nt my problem" or "alah biarkan lah dier" ...i do talk shit..but about sum1 else..not you..i only talk shit about 2 person..ok maybe a few oso..lol but its like those people no one ever talked to..eg shaggy dawg~...

yes i'm older then you..you want me to act matured?i can..then i'll be like those abg2 lobang..do all of you want that?or do you prefer someone you can joke around with and have fun with?

i've been brought up hard.From there ive learn to fight for myself.not letting anyone push me around.I'm a nice guy..step on my head and i'll be the most evil person you've ever met..and i have nvr be known to be forgiving either

And I....

2009-07-31T20:10:00.000-07:00

FUCK YOU!!!!YOU STUPID DIRTY WHORE-FACED POSER DOG FUCKING DICK SLAPPING SHIT IN YOUR FACE CUNT!!!!!!!

2009-07-31T19:58:00.000-07:00

Happy 8th Month Nurul.

We had our share of hard times but thats the price we paid
But through it all we keep the promise that we made
I swear you'll never be lonely...I love you

2009-07-31T19:35:00.000-07:00

Dah takot per?LoL..

I find it stupid when people tell me if you got a fucking problem with them say it to their face or atleast write their name down when we indirectly blog about them when they're the one who started shit by talking shit behind other people backs..and this cunt didnt just talk about me..she talk about everyone!!whoahhhhh!!!haha!!Well..i wont be mentioning names here cause if i do later aiyu malu ah that i actually decided to let everyone reading this that its her who's been doing shit and pretending to be an angel as though nothing's going on and go around blogging saying that if you got a problem with some we should just tell them in the face or write their name down which she herself isntdoing and even hide her tail inbetween her legs by putting her blog on private.Oh well..i dont really care about aiyu...who does anyway..i mean..a no life person who goes around menyusahkan idop orang..who gives a flying fuck anyway..kecik kecik dah nak mampos..dah besar menyusahkan org..

So anyway..i've been a rather mean boy lately..actually..not really cause of someone i really care about..i've been controlling myself alot.I really miss her.The times we would just sit and class and draw together and she got no choice but to listen to me singing with zest..lol..or when she play with my hair and i just sit down and give that whatever lah look...i even miss her putting her phone..wallet etc into my shirt pocket as though im a bag..which i would always say "ahh..aku bag per" everytime she does that..lol..or even the time i waited alone for 4 hours for her at s'pore idol until i bump into donny..i dont mind going thru that agn as long as im with you..what the hell is going on..why are some people so fuck up that they just havta do shit..i really miss you buddy...

i wanna talk to you but somehow my ego's hold me back.The feeling of i didnt do nothing why should i give in kicks in.The anger inside is at its peak but i cant do nothing about it and its making me go loco.It started when she came.Doesnt she have a heart.Or was she born to be the succubus she is.or she just cant see other people happy just cause she has a pathetic worthless,no point of living,im better off dead life.heh..its kinda weird how some people can trust someone they just started being close to more rather than the person who's always been close to them...

2009-07-30T15:40:00.000-07:00

its kinda absurd how people have done shit and can still go on an act as thought they do nothing wrong.they can still walk around as nothing bothering em even though half of the people got a fucking problem with em.

1st thing 1st...names WILL NOT BE MENTION AS TO SAVE THE CUNT FROM PUBLIC EMBARRASSMENT cause i think you still have some dignity in you dont u u bloody sell out cunt.

confrontation was not made as i still respect you as a fucking "human" being and because of someone i really care for.

But somehow..lines has been cross..dirt kicked in faces..heads been step on..and for those who know me really long..that really is not something you should be doing to me..

i can be nice as i can be..and i can also be an evil and heartless person you have ever made.i wouldnt give a fuck if i strip you of you dignity in front of the whole world or make you feel so rejected you would slit your wrist.. hold on..i'll do that for you..

sheesh..even jesus was given more respect by me then you will now..like they say.."kerana mulut badan binasa" which means your body is destroy because of your mouth..what goes around comes around.

im trying to be really mature about stuff here by not causing shit and keeping mum about it.but apparantly some people think it really is immatured to do so..if you wanna see immaturity..sure..why not..but i still havta think twice..cause you really not worth it.i rather jump down a building to catch a falling pebble rather then give you water when your dying of thirst cause that pebble will make much more difference then you will in this beautiful world of ours

2009-07-28T05:16:00.000-07:00

So...What do you do with hypocrites?Treat them like dirt?Give em the cold shoulder?Pretend they're not there when they're talking to you?for me...i do all of em.But one thing for sure..i wont go down so low as to embarass them in public.Wanted a confrontation but i decided not to.Got better ideas up in my head.As those who know me well..i'd either beat the shit of of em or mentally abuse them..its much more satisfying..

anyway..the interview for the KL cultural trip when well..well..its not really an interview..she just told those nominated about the term and condition of being choose to go which i somehow feel i would get choosen but another part of me says i wont..oh well..the trip gonna be fun though..

ms nat interview the class one by one..and i got a good review by her which im extremely proud of and hope that i can be this consistant and do even better then now..

well time to fuck off now

2009-07-27T05:11:00.001-07:00

God Fucking Dammit!!
I had this dream..i kill someone with my barefuckinghands and i tell u pigs...its wasnt fucking pretty..this fucking few weeks ive been a rather angry bastard that i get piss easily and get annoyed by the things around me easily..somehow...i fucking crave for a good fight..guess my bloody past is catching up to me once again.i somehow im fucking loving it..where everything was about hate,violence,rebel,alcohol and discrimination.

Somehow..i been trying to find fault..reason to fight..and thinking about it..its rather funny..i guess the bloody coward just wouldnt fucking dare..and dammit i fucking need new boots!

2009-07-27T04:47:00.000-07:00

Things can Never Be Okay If Only One Us Cares And The Other Pretend As Though Nothing Has Happen

wonder

2009-07-26T23:04:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wonder why people pull the bullshit they pull.Why they decide to do something that they dont want to..

Why do people shun away from the people they love.the love they hide.why cant they just open up and tell..or if they are scared to do so..why run away and let someone else wondering what wrong they do.

Not everything will turn out the way they one.Especially if its the matter of the heart.Like a friend told me once before "tell the person you love that you love them before its too late.Its better if the person knows you love them rather then keep it in the dark.If that person cares..he/she will find a way to make things right.If that person doesnt care.then..athe/she would just shun away or pretend nothings happen.then atleast you know the person isnt the right one"

it pretty much getting confusing now.what if someone u care for suddenly just stop talking to you even though u see each other everyday and u tried to make things right again but it really doesnt help cause the other party dont really want it to be right again.It feels as though as its just a fucking waste of time but the problem is..you wanna let it go..but u just fucking cant cause you wanna know the reason why.

pretty fuck up aint it.It annoys the shit out of me.Its those kind of things where it really isnt such a big deal but you just cant stop thinking about it and it starts affecting you in every single way.You feel like just going up to the person..push em to the wall and just scream "what the fuck is your fucking problem dammit!!"

but oh my fuck..shit happens...and you just wanna run away..dont you??

I hope you know who you are..maybe things will then change..confront me..i dare you

Life

2009-07-25T20:49:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wonder about life..about what it really is..why are you here..what really is your aim..why you even exist?

Why are we here?Religion forbid us to do this..to do that..we have to pray..blablabla..so..is our reason here just to pray to please him?i mean..we cant do nothing if we really are religious..whats the point of our existence if we just have to pray and pray?forget religion for now..lets check into reality..

why do people always take for granted what they have?why cant they see that what they have is probably sumthin they cant nvr get animore or sumthin which sum1 else is craving for but dont have it?

since ive started schooling..ive seen alot in this kids..things that me myself hav been thru wen i was their age..it makes me think..it this really jus a fucking cycle?does it goes round and round thru eternity except for a few who got thrown out of the cycle by accident.

anyway..ive seen a side of people which ive seen before and sumhow its pisses me off..i made a pact with myself..no more violence..no more anger..no more hating..but sumhow i jus cant hold it back..

ive been thinking alot..why do people nvr really give a fuck about the people who actually care for them and just throw them around like garbage when they found sumthin new to fool around with.why do they nvr really stop and think..wow..this person..he/she did alot for me..instead they go away and just dont really bother..at 1st it was like.."eh jom go somewhere" or watever..now its like u turn around..n poof!!they're gone!!

it make you realise how fuck up people really are and you can nvr really trust anybody except a few..i dont really trust anyone now except for a few people..i guess i am wad i am..sometime you just feel lyke forcing down to sit and jus shout every single shit u feel rite in their fucking face regardless how they might feel..cause for what i know..who gives a fuck about you! NYS IS FUCKING TAKING OVER YOU CUNTS!!

and atleast things are goin my way now..everything is falling back in places..i've been nominated top student which i really wanna get..just being an ass..u people wanna know how i get top student?hehe..100% attendence..nvr being late..ok..once..i really overslept sia..always handing in my assignments on time..one more..getting A's..lol..neh..i'm not trying to show off..just to piss to some bastards..especially those cunts and the hypocrite that keep staring at me when they see me..tk puas fite ah sial..!!!!stare stare buat per..pukol ah!!!fucking basi faced bastards!

first time

2009-07-25T20:23:00.000-07:00

its the 1st time i spend one whole night with nurul..well..started the day at town for this donation tingy..but i took the tickets from ms jean and then head of to lucky plaza for a game of pool with the rest..then head down to mac for lunch after that to dhoby for left 4 dead..ok ok..i know..we were suppose to be raising money..not spending money...lol...anyway..we wanted to go far east as me and alvin wanted to get a shirt each..so me,aixin,razaaq,khai,leon,alvin and ricardo took a bus from dhoby to taka..but wen the bus pull over at youth park..razaaq playfully told aixin and khai that we're getting off there..and they really did!!haha!so we got off at taka and razaaq waited for them at wisma while me,leon,alvin and ricardo wen to ion and LV..funny lah!!we acted as tho we're damn rich and pretend everything is damn cheap!lol..but i do want to get this LV belt which cost $400+ soon!!

then over at fareast we walk ard and i tho of getting a bounty hunter tshirt but i saw another shirt which cost $300..and i decided to save for it..anyway..hang out with aixin,khai and razaaq outside fareast while the rest wen off sumwhere..we gossip a lil..ok..its not gossip aixin cause its the real deal...we were jus oh.."talking behind people's back"..LOL!

i had to go off to mit nurul.mit her at bb..wen home..change and head off to b.timah for dinner.i had tis tom yum noodle..wahlau..damn syok..smpai batok batok siol!!lol.there we lyke tis group of student..probably a whole class making alot of noise as tho its a school canteen..it pisses me off as usual and i keep taunting them and nurul was lyke.."dah lah" and i was like "pukimak dorg..pikir ape..eh buto..ur parents nvr as you go home ah cibai?"LOL..

after that..headed back to bb and hang with leon..it was funny lah..leon left soon after and me n nurul was left wandering around..hang out at a kopitiam and wen to my place soon after..at about 7am..nurul left for school and i slept lyke mad..lol..

I Love You..I'm Permenant

Woah~

2009-07-23T04:15:00.000-07:00

Day by day my house is turning into a zoo..i already got a cat and two hamsters for those who know...but..recently there's two new addition to the family..just before the school holiday i got myself a black and white male gerbil who is very very playful and smart..and goddamn cute..and yesterday..i got myself a bunny rabbit...and..i mayb getting a chinchilla when we shift house soon..hopefully i can manage to take care of this many pets..its been really fun so far..they're all friends with each other..ok..except jerry..which is the gerbil..he always wanna attack..even attack minnie once..and that was pretty funny...lol..here are some pics of bobo and jojo...my hamsters...jerry the gerbil and zuko the bunny wabbit..he's only one mth old btw

Ps:People Change..But For Some Of Us..We Wanna..But We Just Keep Going Back To The Same Path

2009-07-17T21:05:00.001-07:00

Hold up
Hold on
Don't be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone

May your smile
Shine on
Don't be scared
Your destiny may keep you warm

Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Get up
Come on
Why're you scared?
You'll never change
What's been and gone

Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

wheee~

2009-07-17T20:13:00.000-07:00

it was nazar and hamzah b'day yesterday and their gf planned a suprise for them.It was aiman job to get the two of dem out..goin clubbing supposedly.so me n nurul mit the girls over at p.ris where we saw nazar and almost blew our cover..lol!!

we straight wen to changi village hotel to book in..while the girls where booking in..me n nurul wen to the beach to set up the place..balloons..cakes..pizzas..satays and a whole lot more!!finally..the girls came to help out..den suddenly..the boys were on their way..den we were lyke working under pressure..den..we heard hamzah laughing..they were lyke..eh..tu mcm nurul jur(aiman gf..nt my nurul) den suddenly "Omg!!ape ni!!!"..den we go..happy bday!!it was fun!

den after cutting the cake n etc...we wanted to take a group pic..but nazar n hamzah were like afraid to stand near me..nazar was like "ahh bdk tu bahaya tu..master of saboh tu!"

and i was like "takde pape lah..hah!!check!" and realli there was nuthin on me..but in the end of the day..both of them get saboh by me...master of saboh mah..lol..!me n nurul wen home at abt 10 plus..it was a fun n tiring day..it was good to see good friends smile lyke dat..

Silence

2009-07-16T03:16:00.000-07:00

They always say(do they?)that silence can be good..sometimes....

I always wonder why people keep important things to themselves wen its meant to be told..not jus them..even i do it...why are we so afraid to say those things deep in our heart sometimes?heartbreaks?pains?anguish?afraid of losing someone?afraid of awkward moments?this are just part of life aint it?all this shit...sooner or later u gonna hav to go thru it...y not just let it out...

how would you know how the ends gonna be if u jus stick to the same page and dont continue to read the rest of the pages to know wads gonna happen?

i sometime wonder..y would some say they're jealous wen they hav no feelings for you..or they do..but u dont know but they wont tell.why issit so hard for someone to speak their mind..their heart when they other party already knew and is waiting...what if he or she gets tired of waiting and move on?wouldnt that be the worst case scenario?

somehow..i feel...if u love or care for someone..or wanna be with someone..u should just tell them when ask..cause this chance may never ever happen again..and then u'll be sorry....

Is this illegal???

2009-07-12T06:17:00.000-07:00

I love my country..alot..i'm proud as a singaporean but i just hate the way its being run..fuck you bastards!

i could run this fucking country better..spore..top 10 most expensive city to live in..for goodness sake..is that sumthin to be proud of??the bloody bastards makes everything so expensive..thats why ppl are losing jobs..and get this..foreigners dont have to pay taxes..even if they're fucking millionaires..wtf?!!how bout the citizens that make this country actually move??what do we get?$400 a years??yea..like dats gonna do us any good..

i'm piss cause i was told by UPS that the board im ordering may run into problems at the singapore custom..im like..wtf..it a fucking board for crying out loud!!not a fucking bomb or fucking 10 year old china kid to be sold as a sex worker!!dude..fucking cmon!!

They dont fucking sell it her animore..thats why i have to order it straight from the US..and once it reach singapore..if i dont get it..who the fuck gonna pay me back my 700 bucks????The govt??Dude!!you bastards take money from us!!

fuck it..im gonna get it..if i dont have it by wen i shld..i'm gonna go public!

well..

2009-07-11T21:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was not bad...wen out wif nurul and her friends..wen to taka 1st cause of some dance shit..while waiting for the rest of nurul friends to come..leon n gf came over boy was i happy to see dem..lol..i rather if he tag along wif us den some guys that i dont even noe or talk to..well..wen to kinokuniya(?)(correct spelling or not ah?i use to call it kunyahkunyah)anyway..wanted to buy the supreme bag..but no more already...bastard..nvm lor..headed to cathay soon after n watch ice age 3 n boy was it fucking hilarious!lol!!

after that played left 4 dead with the two guys(nurul's frend's bfs)n...they suck..lol!!!hahahahah!!i leff them behind for dead..and they did die..lol!!!

wen to marina square after that to eat...n i find it stupid to go dere just to eat...i rather stay at town mit leon n eat wif him..wen home after that...dats all...boring entry..cause i got no fucking idea wat to write..i jus woke up..im sleepy..yes!!lom mandi!!lom cuci muke!!taik mata masih pt mate!!Dope keppE!!

Happy Birthday Renny!!!

2009-07-10T21:43:00.000-07:00

Well..Renny birthday wasnt exactly well planned..but its was cool..Meet up leon n the gang over at far east and fuck you lah leon..buy the vans shoes that i wanted..kanasai!lol!!

Renny came with feraz soon afterward..she treated feraz to cookies from subway n bubble tea for me..i feel so bad..its her birthday yet she's the one who treated us :(

took a bus to cathay to wait for razaaq..razaaq sms me saying he's on the way with 7 girls..i'm like wtf!!so many?!!there were already 10 of us..plus 7 girls n razaaq...18!!hw to play left 4 dead sia?!!

found out i was punk'd..kanasai..

we took some pics while waiting for razaaq n khai who had to go home at 8 plus cause mommy ask him to go home..watever~*cough*faggot*cough* LOL!

The Greatest Friends Anyone Can Ever Ask For

When Razaaq and khai came..we were off to play left for dead..its was like dame fun lor!!renny n feraz left soon after..after the game..we set off to cine cause leon wanted to get sumthing dere..we had supper..went to the arcade...then after that..wen home..overall..it was fun..hope it was an enjoyable birthday for Renny..i promise!next year even better tau Renny!!!

ahhh....

2009-07-09T19:51:00.000-07:00

1st of all...Happy 17th Birthday Renny!!!!
Today..we're gonna give u the best b'day ever!!!!

Anyway..no class today..but still i'm up early..blame the army...i still have lotsa assignments no yet finish...especially mr subra's project..havent even started and i cant be bothered with it..its like the dumbest thing ever..dammit...

I still cant get over my character design work..its like the best drawing n idea i ever had for this class

Renny saw this and lyke go.."omg ihsan..i hate you!!"lol!Its not complete yet..ive yet to color it and work on the background...i cant wait to see the completion of this work..its probably gonna be one of the best since my typography assignment..

Ms jean was like.."eh go..hurry up do it..finish it faster..i wanna see the outcome of you design..comfirm will be very nice one!!quick quick!"thats wad she say wen i present the idea to her..lol..i took me a total of 8 hours and abt 1200+ layers to get it done..

Anyway..i've sign up for the Cambodia community service tingy..the 14 days trip..i think its time to actually put myself to help others now..probably wen i see life there i prolly get a wake up call..renny,leon,alvin,guorui and razaaq sign up too..for ira...=.=" dont wanna talk about it..sheesh~!

Explanation

2009-07-07T17:57:00.000-07:00

Recently i bump into a alot of old friends and they will like go...fuck nys!!!what happen to u!!not metal anymore?etc etc...

Well here's my explanation.I'm still banging..my heart is forever where it is..i'm just sick of dressing up the way i use to..i thought about it..n its time for a change..ive outgrown metal shirts..dressing up..its time for sumthing new..i need to be fresh..n i lyke the clothes i'm wearing now..so if u ever catch me in public...stop asking about my dressings cause its getting annoying...i know its a very very very huge change and its weird seeing me dress like that but dude..seriously man..just accept it..

anyway..to all those MJ hypocrites out there..FUCK YOU AND YOUR MOM!before he pass away..u faggots were lyke...eee...mj...kental seh..peadophile..music sucks..gay..watever...wen he passed away..u maggots go lyke...kesian seh..he was part of my childhood..i love his songs,concerts blablablabla..n download all his songs...for your info..if u are his true fan...u wont fucking download his songs...u will..read this---->FUCKING BUY HIS CDS!!!how many of u faggot actually own his cds..?i do..one only tho..buy 5 of his cassettes which i got like fucking more den a decade ago..so fuck you bastards...!

2009-07-04T00:49:00.000-07:00

i fucking buying this MBS CORE 90 soon enuff!!man its gonna be lyke total adrenalin..i shld try free falling soon if i nd any more adrenalin rush..

its gonna cost me S$650 but its gonna be pretty worth it..imagine going down the fucking terrain at 30km/h..dammit im gonna break a few bones..but i dont give a fuck...once i have it..u guys gonna havta find me over at bukit timah or some dirt track somewhere..!!freestylin with the board..god i cant wait to get cash n order it..

yesterday

2009-07-03T21:40:00.000-07:00

yesterday was fun...went out with fir n ruz for shopping...fir bougt a pair of new jeans for himself..finally sumthing new..lol..

after that mit up wif leon n the rest for a game of left 4 dead..everywhere was full..so we havta go to tis place which actualli cheat us of our money...fucking cibai..burn down the bloody place uh!!!went for a game of pool at cine right after that..we kinda miss the last train home n took the green line home instead..could've take 174 but me n leon both suffered from motion sickness from long bus ride so train is our onli way home..

well was planning to go to this cosplay competition with aixin but i havta do my assignment instead..4 more painful drawings to go...dammit..3 weeks n i onli did lyke 1 drawing...wtf..

anyway...i'm lyke so fucking tired right now..n skool's reopening on monday..i cant wait..i dont realli fancy skool holiday as i got nuthing to do instead of going to town every single day..kinda nt use to this long holiday after 2 years of serving the bloody govt..well..its kinda a great experiance tho..but no way im going back..the freedom the take away from u..man..u gotta listen to anyone bigger den u lyke a dog..whether u like it or nt..even tho me n hairul always end up going up to the storeman's bunk after doin our duty to escape anymore duty..lol..shhh!!!paitao ah..abe tk tau..lol..

anyway..cant wait for skool..miss my classmate lyke ira..renny..razaaq..ayu..nt leon n alvin cause i mit him lyke everyday..dammit..i nd four hundred bucks to order in a mountain board..which is basically lyke an unknown xtreme sport in s'pore..its lyke skateboarding but on rough terrain..n i'm still waiting for my ankle to heel..to skate agn perhaps?lol..i noe nurul!!i promise i wont..but i jus cant help it!!!lol..i injured my ankle on the last day of skool while skateboarding..n fuck it realli hurts..oh well..cant get any worst can it...

xtreme sport + nt getting injured = impossible..

ok..time to get back to work nw...i'll probably play my guitar in a few..i betcha..lol...hails!

ok

2009-07-02T21:46:00.001-07:00

this post is just me being obnoxious just to piss the shit out of someone..LOL!!!

ok..skool holiday..i've spend a total of...plus minus here n there...$700++?somewhere there..n all in one week..actually..3 days..n two days ago i spend another $200..

pretty much went on a shopping spree..bought jeans...shoes..shirts...and they are all branded too..revoltage..hdln..lakai...neighbourhood etc..street wears..oh no..i didnt buy a $20 shoes that needs to be tie cause there's no button or straps...(roll eyes)lol..its way much more then u can afford...n no..my shirts are not $10 piece from cotton on either..lol..

well...i'll probably going KL as part of and exchange programmes..ms nat choose me n 5 other ppl to go..but it will b cut down to 4 soon...i got a good feeling i'll get to go..anyway..my attendence are good...i'm a good student..ms jean REALLY love my work alot..i'm probably the best design student there is ryte nw..lol!!!OH!!if i get to go KL..n get to do some shopping..i'm going to juice to get some clot stuff!!i want the fucking trucker..it cost lyke rm300 i tink..n some t-shirts too..

how now?sick?pissed?boy..i can realli be an asshole cant i?lol!!!!

well

2009-07-02T20:58:00.000-07:00

finally i'm updating my blog..

anyway doesnt it annoys you if someone likes to brag about wad thing he's gonna buy(but nvr realli do) or buying the same clothing or shoes with someone else or saying someone is copying him even tho its the other way round n its lyke fucking obvious or saying he has some of thing but he doesnt actuallly own it..well it annoys the fuck out of me and im waiting for the chance to actually kill the sonofabitch..i noe i noe...i promise..no more violence...but i just cant fucking help it...wen a man needs to kill...he needs to kill...so just sit back n watch the show :)

anyway..skool holiday's alomost up...i have lotsa assignment which i havent even touch yet...i'm gonna do it today..anyway..the holiday's been fun but i rather go to skool as tis holiday ive spend too much..more then wad i did if i go to skool...its lyke almost everyday i go to town to mit leon n the rest and play left 4 dead..which is totally awesome..lol.

and nurul baby..happy 7th month..i want everyone to noe i love u baby...wait for my parents go KL hor!!!

and micheal's death..it realli put a toll on me..i grew up listening to micheal..the first song i've ever heard was beat it..n i use to play it over n over n over again and it always makes my uncle taufik go...lagi skali?!!haha! anyway..rest in peace micheal..i will nvr believe you're a child molester or any fake accusation anyone has ever thrown at you.i still think the black doctor kill micheal..that old bastard!

anyway..i dont realli noe wad to blog abt today..well..tis ppl below...i just love dem!enjoy bitch

dammit

2009-06-11T17:26:00.000-07:00

OCH again tonight..but tonight gonna be different..i got plans..and finally renny's coming along..!!!mampos kau!!!well..the one person i wanted to come cant..hope you can soon baby..i love you..

and i cant wait for monday's class pit...i never did expect i'll b this close with my classmates before i started school..i thought it will be like..hi im ihsan..im gonna be your classmate for two years and bye!instead i have some good friends which i really appriciate..thanks guys..love every single one of you mofos!!

i'm still thinking if i should bring along my fishing equipment to the pit...but its gonna be a hassle bringing it back and forth but still its quite tempting as i havent havent been fishing for awhile..anyway..back to lab again..fuck off now cunts

Offer

2009-06-10T22:30:00.000-07:00

I got an offer to join music club..its kinda tempting as i met this two really talented guitarist that really wanna make me jam with them.But the only problem is..The club doesnt really play metal..but the idea of playing other genre is kinda cool..i mean..i cant just stick to metal if i wanna be really good.

But the idea of being told what kind of music to play isnt really my cup of tea..for me..music is is to be enjoy by both the musician and the audience.Importantly..the musician.If i dont enjoy the music i play..why should i play it..furthermore..being force to play it...i dont really buy the idea.Even though i try to keep an open mind..i just dont buy the idea..i'm still in doubt whether to join..1 good thing is..free hours n hours of jamming session..!well..we see how it goes...i'm still thinking if i should join or not..on top of that..i got lotsa assignments and projects with my band to care about the club..no offence..

but still..ihsan is ihsan..metal is metal..i'll love to be able to be on stage with the spotlight in my eyes while shredding on my fucking guitar...now..thats fucking metal!\m/

well

2009-06-07T23:08:00.000-07:00

Friday was kinda boring went to old imh and turned out it became a hostel for banglas den we decided to go sembawang park instead..nt too bad..well..looking forward for friday's OCH trip agn..i got some plans on my mind which cant be blog about...Top secret...well...i'll blog about it after i do it aites...

renny made it thru to the 2nd round of the s'pore idol..proud of her..waited till like frm 11am to 4pm for her..but it was worth it as she made it..happy for you..and good luck dol!!!

ok..back to business...hmm..i'm sick today..probably swine flu..furthermore...some idiot kinda get on my nerve...well...everyday actually...but ms jean kinda made my day when she say my latest assignment is the best for in the class...haha!!

so to all those motherfuckers who think i cant make it in DMD...fuck off and die..this metalhead is fucking talented!not only can he headbang to the beauty of thundering metal he can also dance(shaggy dance),pretend to be mr remy and i can design..

so fuck off to you bastards who look down on me..and i cant wait to catch u faggots in public..ima love it

right...

2009-05-28T17:22:00.000-07:00

I'm in sch now..kinda bored...didnt even style my hair today..too god damn lazy...well..cant wait for tonight...gonna kick scooter at LCK cemetary..yeah..i do owe a kick scooter btw...actually..its my lil bro..tonight gonna be great..Me and some classmates are goin exploring LCK cemetary..Hope something weird happen..oh well..off to do my assignment..fuck off now..

Dammit

2009-05-27T23:27:00.000-07:00

Well..even a metalhead needs is sports..man utd lost to barca this morning..which i stayed up all night just to watch it and goin to school half dead.

It was a good match..from my opinion..man utd was totally out-classed by Barca..Messi and Puyol was marvelous.(h..For those who dont know..i'm a hardcore man utd fan.Since 1995 and forever will have the devil in me.Glory glory Man utd)

Well..Man utd played VERY badly i gotta admit that.Few chances were created but they just couldnt finish it off.The players were toyed by the likes of Messi,Henry,Eto'o and Puyol.Failure to mark this players cause the lost..and i'm still wondering how man utd defence can lose a heading to someone short as Messi.

But..we did good..i'm disappointed but proud of man utd to actually go all the way this season.I gotta admit i almost cry.Well..Which true man utd fan wouldnt?I really wanna win in again this season cause that would probably shut those Liverfools cunts up.

Oh well..atleast we are better then them.Well..now..time to get the chips and kopis ready for 09/10!!

a new start

2009-05-25T18:08:00.000-07:00

my previous blog somehow got remove by blogspot or some fucking geek decided to hack it..idk..what ever it is..this is the new shit..its a headbanger story..a story about a metalhead living in singapore where not everything revolves around metal(maybe because metal cant pay our bills or put food on our fucking table)

anyway..this blog is still under construction..so stay tune motherfuckers!!